


in the darkness (you shine brighter than anyone else)

by jaeyongniels



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (because we need more of that in the kpop industry), Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Produce 101, Lee Taeyong-centric, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Produce 101 AU, SMTOWN sunbaes as PD101 Mentors, a bunch of cameos from real Produce 101 trainees, implied side ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28600956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeyongniels/pseuds/jaeyongniels
Summary: Lee Taeyong had already gotten used to being alone in the empty training rooms of NEO Entertainment when the trainee friends he had finally debuted through the help of the first season of Produce 101. When the CEO offers him the same opportunity through the upcoming all-male second season of the show, Taeyong is suddenly drowned by the pressure of traversing said survival show. Alone.(or maybe not?)or: in which Lee Taeyong finds himself initially lost in the survival program that is Produce 101, until he finds another trainee who anchors him home.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 15
Kudos: 79





	1. episode 0 & 1

**Author's Note:**

> story title is from the song [Gold](https://open.spotify.com/track/4XbMC0T4UumxCRTr56T024) by Wanna One, the resulting boy group of Produce 101 Season 2. 
> 
> note: numbers before the text indicate the corresponding Produce 101 episodes the scenes happened in.

\- 0 -

By the time Taeyong reaches the 5th floor, he’s already a nervous wreck.

Just the other day, their trainee manager hyung had pulled him aside after a particularly gruelling dance training to deliver the news: the higher ups had called for him for something apparently important, wanting to meet him as early as the next day. Taeyong knows for a fact that the CEO doesn’t do special office calls for mere trainees like him, and his mind was already racing a million miles per minute. He had just stood there dumbfounded, with his hyung patting his back, whispering, “ _Good luck.”_

Taeyong had not slept well that night, already having an inkling of what the CEO wanted to talk to him about, at least based on the buzz he has been hearing in news portals and entertainment websites. He _knows_ what the company’s plan for him would be, and he’s not sure if he actually has a choice about it. He tosses and turns throughout the night, falling asleep hoping that he doesn’t look like absolute _shit_ the next day.

Their entertainment company wasn’t particularly small, nor was it recognizably big. NEO Entertainment had actually debuted a couple of groups from the past, but their groups just hadn’t made a big enough splash in the idol scene for the company to actually be deemed famous.

Or, at least not until Produce 101 happened a year ago. When Mnet sent invitation notices to various companies, NEO included, their CEO had initially been hesitant to send their own trainees because of the doubts that the show wouldn’t work. However, all it took was a press release, a couple of celebrities to be brought in as trainers, and the public interest, for the company to decide that it was worth risking their last two female trainees for. 

The concept was simple enough to grasp, really. A hundred and one trainees being put in the public eye for the _national producers_ to watch, judge, and vote for, until only a final lineup of eleven trainees remain. Taeyong had at many times likened the program to The Hunger Games-- survival of the fittest masked as a popularity contest. _Just without the killing and dying I guess_ , he always muses.

Last year’s survival program had been a make-it-or-break-it situation for the company as they sent out the last remaining female trainees they had for the competition. For all the years Taeyong had trained with NEO, Seulgi and Seungwan had always been the top of the top when it comes to their trainee pool. They had always been on par, if not better than all of male trainees NEO had. (Taeyong isn’t saying that the two were supposed to be inferior and were just surprisingly good. What he meant was that the two had continuously broken the expectations of the people around them with their talent.) However, the company really hadn't known how to utilize them as every female trainee that joins the company trains for a while only to leave a few months after. So with the lure of a shot of instant popularity with the new survival show, the CEO sends the two as the company's representatives.

He remembers talking to his Seulgi and Seungwan noonas a day before the first filming of the show, the three of them spending a rare moment of comfortable silence as they were the last ones in the practice room.

It had always been them three, ever since. Taeyong had entered the company as a bright-eyed, lanky pre-teen who was scouted for his looks outside his school just two months after Seulgi and Seungwan got into the company. Honestly speaking, he was hopeless at first glance. He danced stiffly, sang out of tune, rapped uninterestingly; but for some reason, Seulgi and Seungwan had taken him under their wing and helped him train and improve his skills even though they had to worry about their own training as well. The two practically treated him as their own baby brother which temporarily eased his longing for his parents and older sister.

Even after a lot of months had passed and the trainees they were training with in the beginning began leaving, it was always them three who stayed until they were practically the oldest trainees in the company.

-

“What happens after then?” Taeyong remembered asking them as he looks the two, realizing with a jolt that it might be the last time he’ll hear from them in a long time.

“We don’t actually know,” Seungwan admits, sharing a look with Seulgi. 

“But we talked about it, Taeyong, and,” she takes a deep breath. “Seulgi and I would probably leave the company if this doesn’t work out.”

“What?” Taeyong startles as he looked at the two for any sign that they were just joking. Seungwan looked so, so tired, and Seulgi just smiled sadly at him.

“We’re not getting younger, Taeyong,” Seulgi leans her head on Seungwan’s shoulder. “If this doesn’t go anywhere, we’re gonna have to face the reality at one point that maybe nothing ever will.”

Taeyong’s thoughts are screaming _but what about me?_ , until he gets a hold of himself and remembers that it's not about him but about his noonas– his friends who were about to enter an unknown battlefield the following day. He forces down the guilt bubbling in his throat as the feeling of shame appears as the first thought that entered his mind was only about himself.

“I know what you’re thinking, kid,” Seungwan chuckles. [“I’m not a kid anymore, noona!” “Shush, you big baby.”] “But we promise you that we’re not gonna leave you anytime soon,” Seungwan continues.

"But, you said–" Seulgi cuts him off. "Taeyong."

“We might leave this company, this practice room," she sweeps her eyes around their old training area. "But we’ll never leave you,” Seulgi smiles. 

“We’re practically family now,” she looks at him from across the room. “And families always got each other’s backs.”

That fleeting moment in their washed up practice room is the last time he sees the two of them; at least not until he sees Seulgi and Seungwan’s faces in the television, the internet, and the subway ads, their names becoming increasingly common to the public.

It all works out in the end. Seulgi and Seungwan placed 2nd and 8th, respectively, effectively securing a spot in the debut lineup.

Everything works out, but Taeyong had never felt more alone.

-

His reminiscing was interrupted as the elevator pings, signalling that he is now on the correct floor. Taeyong dazedly walked towards the CEO’s office, abruptly stopping in front of the door that says ‘Lee Soo Geun’ in order to get his bearings. His reverie was suddenly interrupted as someone clears their throat behind his back, prompting Taeyong to turn around.

“Well, are you going to knock, or are you just going to stare at my door?” CEO Lee asks. 

Taeyong feels his face redden in embarrassment, and forces himself to look at the CEO’s eyes to apologize. “I-- I’m sorry, sir, I was just--”

“It’s fine, Lee Taeyong ssi, I understand,” the shorter man cut him off. “Let’s go inside, shall we?” Taeyong just follows him, too dumbstruck to formulate a reply. The CEO leads the way, gesturing for Taeyong to sit on the chair at the front of his desk.

To others, Lee Soo Geun may look like a jolly old man whose face wrinkles betray the times he had spent smiling and laughing. He certainly does act like it at times; constantly checking up on his trainees when he has the free time to do so with a small smile on his face. In this moment, however, Taeyong could not see any trace of the smile lines the CEO always sported.

“I went out for a moment to answer an important call,” the old man starts. “Then I saw you at the front of my office door standing like you would rather have the floor swallow you whole.”

Taeyong just replies with an embarrassed smile, and the CEO takes it as his sign to continue.

“I assume you already have an idea on why I called you here?” Soo Geun leans on his chair, putting his hands together while he stares at the trainee in front of him.

“I-- I think so, daepyonim,” Taeyong gulps. 

The CEO nods at that, looking at Taeyong with a faraway look in his eyes. “I’ve consulted all our trainers, Taeyong ssi. All of them agree that you are NEO’s best chance in securing another slot in the final lineup.” 

Soo Geun stares directly at Taeyong. “And some even said that you are our only chance.”

Taeyong stills, trying to grasp what the man in front of him is trying to imply.

“NEO Entertainment will be sending you as our representative to the second season of Produce 101, Taeyong ssi,” Soo Geun informs him with an air of finality, offering him no choice. “Alone.”

-

By the time Taeyong has wrapped his head around the situation, he already finds himself being pushed and prepped by the company in preparation for the competition. Their in-house trainers had been suggesting and recommending him songs and music that would flatter and highlight his skills for the company evaluations, but Taeyong politely declined every single one, citing that he already had something to perform in mind.

He had also been swept away by the countless interviews and preliminaries the show required them to do, as a way of narrowing down all the potential trainees to _only_ a hundred and one. Being from the entertainment that had produced two of the most popular female trainees from the last season, their CEO had assured him (through their trainee manager), that he already had a sure slot in the one hundred and one, and that all the preliminaries were just for formality’s sake. “It’s also for the Mnet people to gauge the personality they would brand you in once the filming and editing starts,” his manager hyung whispers at him one day.

He feels himself being the center of attention of the other trainees in NEO, with people staring and whispering when he passes by. He hadn’t been close to any of them once Seulgi and Seungwan debuted, preferring the silence of his own company instead of forcing himself to get to know trainees who would then leave the agency after. Taeyong supposes that he has to get used to it by now, since he would be in the public eye in a few weeks’ time.

For all the preparations he had been doing for the past weeks, Taeyong finds himself floating with his thoughts, slowly realizing the gravity of the circumstance he is now in. What grounded him was Seulgi and Seungwan, who now have heard the news that he will be joining the survival show.

“Taeyong-ah,” Seulgi starts, her eyes disappearing with her smile in the video call. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us sooner! We had to find out from Youngjoon ssaem of all people!” She scolds him, referring to their dance trainer who was now choreographing the girl group’s new title track.

“I forgot to message you two with how hectic everything is, noonas,” he briefly defends himself before chuckling. “Seriously though, how did you survive?”

“Lots and lots of coffee,” Seungwan laughs. “But you already know that,” she says as she winks at him. The three of them laugh, remembering all the times Taeyong had been so hyperactive because of said drink. The mood sombers as the three fell quiet after laughing.

“Taeyong,” Seulgi turns serious. “We don’t have much time since we’re just taking a brief break from practicing, but promise to tell us whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, okay?”

“It’s gonna be a long, bumpy ride from here, Taeyong. Every single detail of your life would be examined by the public, every single interaction you have with other people would be given meaning,” Seungwan explains. “I think it’s even gonna be worse for you since you’ll follow our footsteps, unlike last year where the two of us had a clean slate.”

“They’re going to have high expectations, Taeyong,” Seulgi sympathetically adds, eyes looking at him with softness. “And I know that you’re already putting a lot of burden in your shoulders even now.”

“I guess what we’re trying to say is you can share that burden with us Taeyong. We may not reply immediately, but we promise that we will respond,” Seungwan says.

Taeyong just looks at the two from the screen of his worn out phone, a part of him feeling light with what his noonas were telling him. The two were undeniably busy, with back-to-back album shoots, variety show guestings, and overseas schedules to follow; and the fact that they were always making an effort to reach out to him now that they were far away meant a lot to Taeyong. He tries not to let the little tears out, but Seulgi and Seungwan see through his wide eyes and tell him that it’s okay. By the time Taeyong feels himself calm down, he hears someone calling Seulgi and Seungwan from their side of the video call.

“Well, that’s Soojung calling us to get our asses back down to practice,” Seungwan laughs, referring to their group’s center. Before they end the call though, Seungwan smiles at him warmly. 

“Just remember, whatever the result may be, we’re always with you.” 

For the first time in months, Taeyong felt at peace.

\- 0.5 -

February comes too fast for Taeyong to process and before he knows it, he was already being dragged to various schedules related to the survival show. He finds himself whisked away at dawn only to return to NEO’s trainee dorms by midnight. The pre-show filming schedules had honestly blurred into one in his mind, although one particular instance during their profile shoot had particularly remained even after said schedule was long finished.

Taeyong first sees him in a flash of white. Literal, blinding flashes, as the profile photoshoot had been going on for other trainees even before he arrived at the studio. In Taeyong’s point of view, the whole thing must have probably been a scheduling nightmare for the staff, since they had to accommodate a hundred and one trainees alongside the makeup artists and photographers they hired as well. In all honesty, Taeyong breathed a sigh of relief when he first heard from his manager hyung that he was given a late afternoon schedule for the profile shoot. For the past few days, he hadn’t been sleeping well due to anticipation, with the only thing making him fall asleep is his own exhaustion.

The studio was spacious, which was expected since there were a lot of them. The trainees who were not having a shoot yet had a separate waiting area, although Taeyong opted to stay by himself until he gets called for his turn. The trainees were called to the studio in batches of five; and Taeyong finds himself included in a batch wherein the other four trainees seemed to know each other by the way they interacted with each other. _Labelmates_ , Taeyong thinks. Once again, he was reminded by the fact that he really was about to go through this entire show on his own; no one to talk to, no one to confide with.

Taeyong inwardly sighs, instead choosing to scan the studio and the sets provided for all the trainees. The space was divided into three separate sets for them to shoot on. The first set was a simple white background for them to shoot their school uniform profile pictures in, with no props available for the trainees to use but their faces and smiles. The second set on the other hand, was something similar to a boys gym locker room, except much more cleaner and definitely smelled better. For that set, they were given a variety of sports equipment to choose from, ranging from bats, gloves, and different varieties of balls. The last one was for a shoot Taeyong was personally excited for. The third set boasted full-bloomed flowers of different types, making the space look like it came out from a renaissance garden. He could tell that some, if not all, the flowers were real from the smell alone. He smiles to himself, already looking forward to the prospect of shooting at the latter set.

Taeyong knows how to play the cameras. If there was one thing he was confident about, it was with his ability to come out in photos flatteringly. He was always teased by Seulgi and Seungwan about it, the two of them always jokingly complaining that all he had to do was stand and then his face alone would do the work for him. He wasn’t even boastful about it, with himself being his own worst critic, but he absolutely knows that somehow, by some grace, he has the natural ability to look good in any angle he tried to do. 

The batch before them still wasn’t finished with using the uniform and gym sets, and to lessen the waiting time, one staff suggested to just have them go one by one, at least until the previous batch finishes.

As the first trainee was called by the photographer to shoot (a guy named _Hanseul?_ Or _Hansol?_ he wasn’t listening), Taeyong finds himself at the back of the noisy trainees as they teased their friend who was about to start posing up front. While the four clearly knew each other though, it was only the two farthest from him who were noisily teasing their other friend. The third was just standing beside them quietly, although Taeyong could tell from the way his shoulders were shaking that he was laughing as well. Their jokes went on and on until the other two who were the farthest from him were called for their own respective shoots as well. The only one left with him was the silent one, and Taeyong felt relieved.

 _Finally, some peace and quiet,_ Taeyong had thought. Finally alone with his thoughts, he was about to go through the poses and expressions he had mentally filed in his mind in preparation when he felt someone tap his shoulder.

“Excuse me,” Taeyong hears someone say beside him. He turns, and he tries not to look dazed as he feels the person who approached him rendering him speechless.

The guy was taller than him, his hair styled messily and dyed a light brown. There were painted freckles on his cheek (much like some other trainees), but whereas it had looked too forced on the other trainees’ faces, the guy in front of him had made the makeup look natural and complementary to his face. Taeyong tried to think if he’s ever seen someone as good looking as said guy, but comes up with a shortlist of none.

It’s not that Taeyong hasn't ever talked to a stranger who was good looking, it’s just that he usually had the time to mentally prepare himself (being the introvert that he was) before doing so. And _good lord_ , was he not prepared to talk to this guy.

“--lier.” Taeyong’s pretty sure that he saw the guy’s lips move, but he was too distracted to even listen to what he was saying. “Huh,” he dumbly replied.

“Um,” the guy, whose ears were cutely turning pink, looked embarrassed. “I said that I’m sorry for all the noise we were making earlier,” he says, bashfully rubbing his hand on his nape. The movement snaps Taeyong out of his thoughts, and he rushes to reply to the taller.

“No-- no, it’s okay,” he assures the other. “I understand you all really, since you’re from the same company and all.” Taeyong tries for a smile, but thinks that it might have come out as a grimace to the other since he doesn’t know how to act around new people yet. _New handsome people_ , his brain supplies helpfully. 

“Oh, no,” the guy laughs, and Taeyong’s eyes immediately zero in on the two dimples adorning the guy’s cheeks. _Cute_ , his mind echoes once again. “Only Youngho hyung and I are from the same company. Yuta and Hansol hyung are from another one,” he explains.

“Youngho…?”

“Oh, right, I’m sorry,” the guy chuckles. “Youngho hyung’s the tallest one,” _dimples_ said, pointing to the guy currently in the white set. “The one with the long hair in the flower area is Yuta hyung, he’s Japanese by the way, and the one shooting in the locker set is Hansol hyung,” he quickly points at the two before turning to Taeyong once again. 

“And, the one talking to you is Jung Jaehyun,” he holds his hand out, smiling at Taeyong all the while.

Taeyong finds Jung Jaehyun’s smile contagious and feels his lips quirk up as well, holding out his hand to shake the other’s. “I’m Lee Taeyong.”

Before they could exchange more pleasantries, a staff member calls out Jaehyun for his turn shooting in the mini flower garden. Jaehyun smiles apologetically at him before leaving, but Taeyong just shakes his head and mouths _Good luck_ , showing him two thumbs up as well.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Lee Taeyong ssi,” he smiles, and flashing a dimple to Taeyong, follows the staff.

The moment he was out of their hearing coverage, Taeyong finds himself letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and shakes his head to clear his thoughts. He feels himself come back to focus-- up until Jung Jaehyun, with his pretty smiles and cute dimples, distracts him once again.

It was probably a bad idea for Taeyong to try and see Jaehyun’s shoot since he’s distracted as it is, but there’s something dreamy with the way the other trainee commands his shoot that Taeyong finds himself lurking in the background. 

There’s something just, _poetic_ , in Jung Jaehyun’s beauty, especially in that garden set, that takes Taeyong aback. 

Taeyong didn’t even know that he was still staring until Jung Jaehyun catches his eye and smiles. He immediately looks away, feeling embarrassed.

 _Get a grip, Lee Taeyong,_ he thinks to himself as he looks at his feet.

Taeyong was finally called for his own shoot and he finds himself in his natural element, like a fish released to the ocean. The thoughts distracting him previously were kept on the back of his mind, and all he focused on were the photographers’ instructions and the camera he had to look at. 

Seulgi and Seungwan had always praised him for his attention to detail when they were having photoshoot training and mock camera tests at NEO, and Taeyong prided himself for his focus whenever he was in front of the spotlights.

(Be that as it may, perhaps that was the reason why Taeyong never noticed someone staring openmouthedly at him while he was doing his own shoot.)

\- 1 -

Today was _the_ day.

Even if it weren’t for his manager hyung dragging him out of his bed on god knows what time, Taeyong definitely felt it in his bones that today was one of the most important days in his life.

Seulgi and Seungwan had warned him about the long and tiring filming schedule for their first day company evaluation and had advised him to rest and eat a lot before going in, but he really wasn’t able to follow the latter since the butterflies in his stomach are preventing him from doing so.

All Taeyong could think about while inside the company car driving him to the filming location was that all the training he has ever done in his entire life will never be enough to prepare him for the show he’s about to join. His life was about to change, he just doesn’t know exactly how. 

Taeyong enters the waiting room apprehensively. The staff had only given him brief instructions when he first entered the filming site: to (1) drop off his luggage in the first room to his left, and (2) wait for further instructions on where he would go next. Taeyong thinks that the staff was making a scavenger hunt out of this whole situation but keeps his thoughts to himself and complies nonetheless.

He sees some other trainees lining up towards one particular room and infers that this may be the luggage room the staff told him. He casually tries to look around, discreetly trying to look at the other contestants around him. Taeyong notices that a lot of them (himself included) were actually already prepped and wearing their performance clothes under their thick padded coats.

Another thing he notices, though, is the fact that a lot of them were actually looking at him. He feels self-conscious, wondering why the other trainees were staring, when he realizes that their eyes were actually trained on his hair. _Ah,_ he thinks. _It’s the platinum white hair_.

Taeyong honestly doesn't know how he was convinced by Seulgi and Seungwan to dye his hair _“so that you’ll be more noticeable in the first episode”_ but he does exactly that. He had always wanted to try dyeing his hair an outrageous color but always found himself hesitating to do so, as he didn’t want to bring any more attention to himself. This time though, he supposes that it was actually the perfect time to try since getting more attention from the get go was his goal.

Taeyong just tries to ignore the stares and proceeds to fiddle with his phone, only looking up when the line moves.

Everything was a blur after that, to be honest. The next thing Taeyong knows was that he was finally being called to enter the filmed waiting area to apparently write a message on the freedom wall. It looked like he was just the second or third trainee to officially enter the filming place, seeing the lack of writings on the wall. He didn’t know what to write and just proceeded to write a little _“NEO Ent, fighting!”_ beside a small Spongebob that he drew for good measure.

Taking a deep breath, he turns to the mirror for one final look, and goes up the place.

Seeing the set with his own eyes really was a different experience from just simply watching it on the television. The pyramid set up was gigantic and had an overwhelming aura from the get go. It also didn’t help that unlike the previous season whose color scheme was pink and other bright colors, this year’s theme was obviously banking on the cool boys concept by using cold colors like blue and gray. _Fuck gender stereotypes_ , Taeyong thinks.

There were already two trainees sitting side by side by the fifth level of the pyramid. Taeyong checks the seat numbers beside them, and notes that the two sat on chairs number 40 and 41. Taeyong honestly wanted to go for the 1st chair, the one at the very top, just for the comfort of having a padded seat, but remembers the staff telling all the trainees that they can _fight_ for that seat now. They can literally challenge the one seating at that top chair at any game and the one who wins can keep the seat. Taeyong decides that he doesn’t want any drama to add with the stress of performing, so he opts for the 2nd seat instead. _At least the chair’s still padded._

Finally sitting down, he realizes that his company, name, picture, and projected final ranking were being displayed on the big screen. 12. He was asked in his first interview regarding what ranking he thinks he’ll get on the finale and he said 12, one number shy from the cutoff. He remembers being asked by the staff why and he replies, “Because I don’t actually know if I’m actually good enough to debut yet.” 

Taeyong settles down for the rest of the morning and finds himself zoning in and out throughout the next hour as the set slowly fills up.

Only a few trainees stuck on his mind throughout the entire entrance proper. Kim Samuel, that young kid who debuted as Punch in that duo that disbanded, the four out of five members of Nu’est who had made a buzz when their company confirmed that they were joining the survival show, and Jang Moonbok, the long haired trainee who was currently seated at the top seat, having beaten the previous trainee for the place through rock-paper-scissors. 

Taeyong had resigned himself to believing that he was probably spacing out when Jung Jaehyun and his labelmate entered because he honestly did not remember seeing anyone familiar throughout the entire hour.

As all the trainees finally settled, it was finally the time for their _National Producer Representative_ to enter. Taeyong had heard different rumors as to which celebrity it would be, but never actually checked which one was real so as not to spoil the surprise. (He does hope that the emcee this time around would be someone really knowledgeable in the field though. He respects the emcee for last year, it’s just that, uh, Taeyong wants someone he can learn from this time.)

Having a penchant for dramatics, the Mnet staff dragged the entire thing until _finally_ , a small woman entered the stage. Not trusting his eyesight to recognize the woman from afar, Taeyong immediately looks at the big screen, and gasps. _Holy shit._ Mnet got _the_ BoA to be their show’s main host.

If Taeyong didn’t realize the scale of the entire show before, he definitely did now. Most especially when BoA finally introduces the rest of the trainers they will have throughout the entire season.

Throughout the set, Taeyong hears variations of gasps and other exclamations of surprise as big shot celebrities finally entered. Jung Yunho and Kim Hyoyeon for dance, Kim Taeyeon and Cho Kyuhyun for vocals, and Cheetah (the only one returning from the previous season) and Don Mills for rap. 

_What the hell_ , was all Taeyong could think. Some of the people he grew up to admire would actually supervise and mentor him throughout the months to come (if he survives the eliminations, that is.)

Dazed, Taeyong actually didn’t remember the messages BoA and the other trainers gave them. He supposes that he just has to watch it on the broadcast instead. 

As the director yells a sharp “Cut!”, the staff members call for a short 30 minute break for the trainees to prepare for the performances they will present. 

Taeyong feels a bit lightheaded, to be honest. Whether it may be from his lack of proper breakfast or from the imminent performance, he doesn’t know. Unlike the other trainees moving about during their break, Taeyong instead chooses to lean on his (really comfortable) chair, and close his eyes.

He honestly doesn’t know if he fell asleep, but he remembers opening his eyes to the sound of someone calling him.

“Hi?” 

Jung Jaehyun, right in the flesh. 

“Sorry for waking you up, Lee Taeyong ssi,” said guy grinned down at him, flashing his dimples all the while.

“Nah, it’s okay, I just closed my eyes for a bit anyway,” Taeyong stands, subtly stretching as he does so. “By the way, what year are you born on, anyway? Just so we can clear the honorifics. And what are you doing here?”

“Well for that first question, I’m a ‘97 liner,” he replies. 

“And for that second question,” Taeyong sees the other’s ears turn a shade of pink. “Youngho hyung went with Yuta and Hansol hyung to the restrooms but I stayed here because I didn’t want to go down and then up those stairs again,” Jaehyun laughs. “And you’re the only one I really recognized here so I approached you, Taeyong ssi.”

Taeyong bites his tongue from asking out, _why did you go up to my seat if you didn’t wanna use the stairs then?_

“Oh so I’m your last resort now aren’t I?” Taeyong honestly doesn’t know where he had the guts to tease him since they were technically strangers, but chalks it up to his lightheadedness. “And that’s Taeyong hyung to you, since I was born in ‘95.”

Jaehyun seemed genuinely surprised at that. “Wait, really? I really thought you were younger or at least the same age.”

Taeyong shakes his head and chuckles. “Why, do I seem that inexperienced of a trainee to you?” He teases.

“No-- no,” the younger stammers. “It’s not what you think, hyung. It’s just that you looked cute and small and pocket-sized, you know,” he rushes out. 

And then Jaehyun’s brain catches up with what his mouth just said, and promptly covers his mouth. 

“Oh no did I just say that? Oh my god, I’m sorry hyung, I guess I’m just gonna leave now goodby--” Jaehyun panics, as Taeyong just stood there, steadily reddening.

“No, no, I’m okay, Jaehyun, no need to leave,” Taeyong blinks, unsure on what to reply with what the younger just said. “I was just teasing anyway,” he assures him.

Taeyong and Jaehyun both stood there in silence, the two of them seemingly having a competition on who could turn red the fastest, until Jaehyun’s labelmate finally calls him downstairs.

“Well,” Jaehyun clears his throat. “I better go down now, hyung, before I say more embarrassing things,” he rubs his hand on his nape. “It was nice talking to you again.”

“Back at you, Jaehyun. Good luck to you and Youngho ssi for later,” Taeyong smiles. Jaehyun replies good luck to him as well, and moves to go back to his seat.

“Oh, and hyung,” Jaehyun cranes his neck to look at Taeyong once again. 

“Hm?” Taeyong replies, eyes still on the younger.

“You look great with your new white hair color.”

And with that, Taeyong wins their unspoken who-could-turn-red-the-fastest competition as he feels his face heat up even more.

\- 1.5 -

Amidst his fast beating heart and cold bones, Taeyong immediately hears the murmuring the moment he stepped on the center stage. He schools himself into a relaxed, confident smile; a big contrast to the bundle of nerves he was currently feeling. 

_Now or never, Lee Taeyong._

_Now or never._

“Hello,” he bows. “I’m NEO Entertainment’s trainee, Lee Taeyong. Please take care of me well!” 

It was a nerve wracking couple of seconds for Taeyong when the panel of mentors in front of him didn’t say a word after his introduction, until BoA breaks the silence.

“Wow, of course NEO Entertainment only sends their best for Produce,” he sees BoA tell Cheetah on her right, being one of the trainers returning from the previous season, all the while looking at the screen above him. “He looks good on the screen.”

“He does, doesn’t he?” Cheetah distractedly replies, eyes also fixated on the huge screen. Taeyong anxiously wonders if he has something on his face, as he can see himself getting a closeup from the small television in front of him. “Looks good with that hair color too.”

“The scar by his eye looks cool too,” Hyoyeon adds. “A rose, his face looks like he has a rose on it.”

Taeyong can feel himself redden hearing their compliments, ignoring the urge to look at his feet (which was what he normally would have done when given praises).

“So,” Yunho claps, breaking the others' focus on his face. “It seems like the other trainers had gotten distracted by your visuals Lee Taeyong ssi,” he grins. 

“I have a question, though,” Yunho continues. “Earlier, when everyone was resting, I asked the trainees who still haven't gone through the auditions to raise their hand if they think they’ll get a rank A, and you raised yours. Can you tell us why?” 

Taeyong tried not to visibly wince at the question. He just hoped that Mnet wouldn’t brand him as someone too overconfident after that. 

In all honesty, it was actually just a mistake on his part. 

While taking a break from filming, Yunho had turned to the trainees on the pyramid and asked them to raise their hands if they weren’t done with the company evaluations yet. (Being the perfectionist he is, Yunho couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the lack of A level trainees from the evaluations.) Taeyong, being one of those who haven’t performed yet, raised his hand. However, he spaced out while raising his hand and promptly didn’t hear the next command which was: “Raise your hand if you’re confident in getting an A.”

The next thing he knew, he was (once again) the center of attention as Yunho noticed his hand still being raised and called out, “Oh, that one in the 2nd seat! I like that. I’ll look forward to your performance.”

Knowing that he couldn’t as well say that he just wasn’t paying attention at that time, Taeyong just tries to ~~bullshit his way~~ make an excuse about why he raised his hand.

“Rather than being confident in getting an A,” Taeyong begins. “I raised my hand because I actually wanted to gain confidence since I think I’m lacking some,” he explains, which wasn’t entirely fake, since he really needed to trust himself now more than ever.

Yunho nods at that. “I like that mindset.” Taeyong tries not to breathe a sigh of relief. “Let’s see if you really are going to be the first trainee to get an A today.”

“Well, Lee Taeyong ssi, we’ll see the performance you’ve prepared. Good luck.”

-

You see, Taeyong has been preparing for this evaluation for months now. He had turned down countless suggestions from his trainers about what he should perform because he had wanted to show off his own self this time, not just a parrotted routine that had a high probability of being performed by other trainees. 

As he hears the female voice on the intro, he feels himself relax as he feels the familiarity of the song seep through his bones. 

> _(Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? As we go through the following safety instructions. Thank you and enjoy your flight.)_

Taeyong had weighed the pros and cons of performing an original song for the company evaluations. On one hand, performing something new and something he himself had created was something no other trainee had ever done before in the show. Taeyong honestly also feels more relaxed and confident performing something of his own style. On the other hand, though, everything would backfire on his face if the panel didn’t like the song and choreography he wrote and created. There was also the factor of whether the viewers would think that he was being too cocky for performing a self-composed song. There were lots of factors to be considered both ways, so Taeyong had first brought the idea up to his manager hyung, but the older thought that it was much too risky for a first performance. Still, his hyung (and the management) had given him the freedom of having the final say on what he wanted to do for the evaluations. (Although he did express his worries multiple times.)

The months of working on the song alone and the weeks of making and practicing his own choreography had certainly made their mark on Taeyong as he performs onstage. He sang and moved to the beat of the song like it was second nature to him, like it was breathing. He shed his previously shy persona from earlier and showed off a confident charisma, gazing at the panel with metaphorical fire in his eyes. He fully occupied the stage despite being the lone trainee from his company.

(Taeyong would only see the other trainees’ reactions when he watches the airing of the first episode, but what the cameras would fail to show was one guy’s openmouthed awe, and his labelmate’s teasing gestures.) 

As the song moves to its climax, Taeyong feels the white bomber jacket he was wearing constrict his movement, and moves to smoothly remove said article of clothing. (Perhaps not realizing that he was just wearing a sheer long sleeved top made from some white fishnet material underneath.) 

His song ends, and amidst the applause and cheers, Taeyong thinks that this may just be the performance he will cherish the most for the rest of his life.

The post-performance embarrassment immediately creeps up on him, and he immediately looks for the jacket he threw to cover himself up. The panel notices and laughs. He tries to catch his breath as the adrenaline settles, and turns to face the trainers.

“Well, seems like that lady’s voice in the beginning didn’t have to ask for our attention, Lee Taeyong,” BoA starts. “Since your performance commanded our attention just as well.”

Taeyong preens at the praise and bows, “Thank you so much.”

“It says here on your profile that you write songs when you have spare time? Did you compose the one you performed now as well?” She asks.

Taeyong lights up as he always does when talking about an art he had created. “Yes, I helped compose and write the lyrics, and the choreography was made by me as well.”

Taeyong hears a chorus of _wows_ both from the panelists and the other trainees and feels his ears redden even more.

“Wow,” Hyoyeon starts. “I was about to ask who choreographed as well, but you already answered that for me. Anyway, I like the control that you had in your movements. There were times where you grooved with the music, and there were also times where you went as hard as the beats. I enjoyed the performance, Lee Taeyong.”

Taeyong’s heart feels like it was gonna burst, but he still bows. “Thank you.”

“I like the choreography,” Yunho says. “A lot of the moves weren’t the type you’d normally see in an idol song, but that’s what I liked about it. I think that it fit with the vibe of the song well and didn’t sacrifice the vocal part of the performance. I enjoyed it very much,” he smiles.

Taeyong honestly wants to cry.

“For the vocals,” Taeyeon starts. “I think that it was a good move for you to choose this song for this evaluation because it complimented your vocal color well. Your vocal skills definitely aren’t main vocal level, but still, it’s better than average, and that’s okay,” she assures him, “since singing wasn’t your main position anyway.”

Taeyong subtly releases a breath he was holding at that, since what he worried about the most was his singing ability. He was relieved to hear that he didn’t sound like a dying bird, at least. 

“I have a question though,” he hears Don Mills say. “You wrote here that you liked writing and performing rap, but we didn’t see that much in your song, why?”

“About that, I just thought that it would be better to perform something that can show off all that I can do equally,” he explains. “But I guess the rapping didn’t really show much, so I’m sorry for that.” 

“Ah, I see,” Don Mills nods. “I want to see your skills, though. Can you perform a freestyle rap for us?”

Taeyong takes a deep inhale before answering. “I would be honored to, sunbaenim.”

“Great,” the rap trainer smiles. “Please play track #71 for the beat,” he instructs the music director.

Taeyong smiles as he hears a familiar beat, and opens his mouth.

> _The inside of my mouth is full of rhymes_
> 
> _Rhythm and flow are always tight_
> 
> _A spotlight lights up this place_
> 
> _I finished preparing last night_
> 
> _Let’s go, open the door_
> 
> _I’m the chosen track now_
> 
> _Okay, look at this chance_
> 
> _No one can pass through these strict rules_
> 
> _(But) from now on I’m changing the chosen track_
> 
> _I won’t accept your glances and attention_
> 
> _At least I’m honest right? I’m crazy_
> 
> _Even if you have more power than I can imagine_
> 
> _I will never feel inferior_

Taeyong feels lighter after he raps, giving his all to his impromptu performance. He looks up at the panel and smiles upon seeing Don Mills doing the same.

“You definitely weren’t lying about your skills. I enjoyed it, thank you,” the trainer comments.

“Seems like he was born with it,” BoA muses. “He’s an allrounder, no?” The other trainers immediately agree, but Taeyong had it in himself to disagree. 

“I actually wasn’t,” he blurts out. “Born with it, I mean.”

“Now don’t go all shy on us now,” Cheetah teases him. “With your looks and skills, you’re definitely meant to be onstage.” Murmurs of agreement fill the room. “I’m actually surprised you haven’t debuted yet.” 

“I-- I actually didn’t know how to dance or sing when I first entered NEO,” he shyly admits. “I just learned as the years passed by.”

“Well, Taeyong, it seems like those years of training and practicing served you well,” BoA smiles. “Well, just excuse us for a bit as we deliberate your level.” 

They talked to themselves for only minutes, but Taeyong already felt like it was the longest moment of his entire life. He was nervously shifting on the stage, eyes wandering towards the pyramid. He suddenly catches Jaehyun’s eye from his seat, and the younger smiles at him. Taeyong feels himself slowly calm down.

Taeyong hears someone pick up a microphone and moves his gaze to the panel, and sees them all looking at him, apparently already done with the deliberations.

With a sparkle in her eyes, BoA announces his results.

“Lee Taeyong. A.”

-

[“He looks like Jaejoong, doesn’t he?” BoA asks Yunho as Taeyong walks away from the stage.

“He does,” Yunho agrees. “But I hope that he’d be able to carve his place in this industry without people seeing him as just that. He definitely has the skills to prove that.”]


	2. episode 2 & 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I told you, hyung,” Jaehyun grins as he finally takes a place beside Taeyong. “We’re a package deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> numbers before the text represents the episode the scenes happened in.

\- 2 -

Taeyong finds himself at a loss as they finally move to the training center in Paju. 

The company evaluations had been tough and draining, and all in all, only 8 of them were accepted into level A. 8 trainees. Out of 101.

_Well, looks like he’ll definitely get that screentime after all._

Out of the seven other trainees who got an A, Taeyong could honestly only remember three. Lee Donghyuck, the young (and definitely loud) trainee who could hit high notes as well as he can execute dance moves, Ten (Taeyong honestly couldn’t remember his whole name), an individual trainee from Thailand who Taeyong could honestly say is the best dancer of their batch, and Lee Minhyung (who apparently prefers being called by his english name, Mark), an all rounder who Taeyong remembered because of his sick freestyle rap. 

There were two rooms apparently reserved for them, with six beds for each room. The staff had told them that they can divide themselves as they deem fit, and to just tell them the names of the people per room. As the staff members finally leave, the eight of them awkwardly stood inside the first room dedicated to the A level trainees, unsure of what to do next.

“Well,” Donghyuck was the first one to break the silence. “Isn’t this situation just wonderful,” the younger said, dramatically sighing while leaning against the bunk bed. 

Taeyong doesn’t exactly know what was funny about what the younger had just said, perhaps it had something to do with the way Donghyuck was dramatic about it, but it broke the tension between all of them and set them off laughing. 

“I’ll just call you all hyungs from now on since I think I’m the youngest in our level right now,” Donghyuck cheekily announces. Everyone chuckles at that, and Mark enthusiastically declares his birth year, prompting the rest of them to do the same.

In the end, they had decided to room themselves according to age, with Taeyong automatically being in the hyung room, since he was the second oldest. He finds himself rooming with Ten, and two other trainees named Ha Sungwoon and Ong Seongwu. 

The problem arises to Taeyong’s attention when he wakes up the next day. As the adrenaline he had for the day finally wore off, Taeyong had immediately gone to bed the moment he finished showering, evidently missing some bonding session the other A trainees had.

Walking with them to the huge pyramid room (as the trainees had started to call it) for a filmed batch practice, Taeyong definitely notices that the bunch of them were closer already, with Donghyuck already teasing Mark and Sungwoon swapping trainee stories with Seongwu. Taeyong inwardly sighs, feeling left out once again.

Taeyong had always known that it was going to be hard for him to make friends in the show since he was never good at meeting new people. Even when Seulgi and Seungwan left NEO’s training room to join Produce, Taeyong had never gotten close with the other trainees he trained with since he didn’t know what to say to the rest of them. Since he knows that this will probably be the case as well when he joins Produce, he had already resigned to the fact that he would probably be alone for the next few months of the competition.

Knowing this doesn’t automatically equate to being fine about it, and Taeyong finds himself envious of the quick bonds his fellow trainees had seemingly formed. Sighing to himself, he vows to just do well for this practice session, most especially since it was a dance one.

The trainees were sorted into rows based on their levels, with the As on the first row and Fs on the back. Taeyong roams his eyes around the space and sees Jaehyun in his orange B shirt, already conversing and laughing with his fellow B trainees.

 _Ah. Of course Jaehyun would already be comfortable with his new environment._ Jaehyun was the first one who approached him on the times they’ve talked anyway. Taeyong thinks that it was foolish for him to think that the younger would seek him out once again, seeing as their previous interactions were only fuelled by the fact that Jaehyun doesn’t know anybody else in the vicinity. _Well, now he knows more people other than me. Probably would find more interesting trainees to talk to as well._

Taeyong doesn’t actually know why he was hoping to form a friendship with the younger, but perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Jaehyun was the first trainee who had actually approached and tried to talk to him in this show. Taeyong was _sentimental_ like that, like what his noonas had always teased him. He had always remembered his firsts of anything, and files it in his mind to look back to. It just so happened that Jaehyun was not just the first person he had been comfortable with in this competition, but also the first person he had been comfortable to talk with after Seulgi and Seungwan debuted in general. Sighing, he faces back to the front, just in time for their dance trainers to enter the room.

Jung Yunho and Kim Hyoyeon were wearing clothes suitable for practice, confirming the fact they would be the ones to teach them the choreography of the show’s theme song today. They were also accompanied by three more backup dancers to efficiently distribute the trainers per level. The two had wasted no time on greeting all of them and immediately began the practice by flashing the dance practice of the choreography they were supposed to learn in three days.

Even though this would be Taeyong’s second time watching the practice video, his mouth still drops at the complexity and difficulty of the choreography, already worried at how he will perform this while singing live at the same time. The first time they were shown the video, gasps and other sounds of exclamation filled the room, with trainees already wondering how they will perform the song in three days.

“Now, now,” Yunho speaks, breaking Taeyong’s reverie. “We know that this is a difficult dance to learn for a lot of you but that’s why Hyoyeon and I are here to teach and help you,” he assures them, as Hyoyeon nods.

“We’ll be heavily supervising you this time around, since that was “passionate Yunho”’s request," she teases him, side-eying him in the process. [“Hey!”] 

“Anyway, we’ll be easy to approach when the time comes, but,” she emphasizes, already turning serious. “Don’t use that as an excuse for not trying harder to learn the choreo on your own. We’re your trainers. Not your spoon feeders.”

Despite Hyoyeon’s warning at the end, Taeyong perks up, already giddy with the fact that literal dance legends in the idol industry are going to work with them closely. 

The practice starts, and Taeyong finds himself in his usual routine of watch-copy-repeat-memorize. Their trainee practice session for that morning consisted of learning the choreography for the first verse and chorus of the song, in which Taeyong already started to have a grasp of. He works on his own after the two trainers had stopped instructing to start roaming around the room to help the trainees.

Time passes by quickly like that, with Taeyong now talking and practicing with Ten, since the younger was also dancing by himself at first. They were at first filled with awkward silence, with Ten struggling a bit with the language and Taeyong unsure of what to say. Eventually, the two became much more comfortable with each other as the practice went on, catching the eyes of the other trainees as well.

“Ah, the hyungs dance so well!” Donghyuck and Mark cheered them on as Taeyong and Ten went through the routine together. Taeyong laughs his thanks to the two, feeling embarrassed at the sudden attention. Ten on the other hand dramatically performed a little bow, earning more cheers and laughter from Donghyuck and Mark. From the corner of his eye, he notices Jaehyun staring at their direction and Taeyong wills himself not to look back. 

“You two are doing great,” Yunho assures them as he passes by them while on the way to the front of the room. Taeyong feels relief flood his bones.

“Okay,” Yunho claps his hand when he reaches the front, trying to call everyone’s attention. “I want to see you all perform what you know so far. Let’s start with level A,” he looks at their group critically. “Show us what you got.”

Taeyong doesn’t know how, when, or what happened, but he suddenly finds himself in the front of the group alongside Ten for the impromptu presentations. The other trainees were all looking at them expectantly. After all, they were the A class. The cream of the crop. The fact that they were already ranked A meant that they had nowhere to go but down if they mess up.

Clearing his thoughts, Taeyong shakes his head and steels himself, bracing himself for the song to start.

Taeyong’s body automatically moves to the song the moment the opening beat starts. He feels himself get lost with the muscle memory of the steps they practiced earlier. Taeyong notices on his peripheral view Ten enjoying the routine, and inwardly smiles to himself. Just earlier, the younger confessed to him that he fears messing up because of the pressure he was already getting from the get go. He was glad that Ten was finally having fun with the routine this time around. Taeyong wonders when he’ll experience that as well.

Pushing that thought away, Taeyong focuses on making his movements sharp, adding little details unique to him in the process. He had always liked leaving his own little mark on the things he liked. From doodling on his walls back at home, to customizing clothes to his liking, to inserting little finger details to his dancing. All too soon, the music stops, and they are met with a round of applause and cheers from everyone watching. Taeyong feels his shoulders sag in relief, and a wide smile finally appears in his face. 

“As expected of A class,” Yunho beams at them. 

As they go back to their line to make way for the B level’s turn in dancing, Taeyong hears his name being mentioned by Hyoyeon.

“Oh, and Lee Taeyong?” Hyoyeon starts. Taeyong stills, mind racing on why he’s specifically being called out. He still turns to face her, nonetheless, waiting for the trainer to continue her thought.

“I liked the little finger movements you added to the choreography for it to suit your style more,” she smiles at him. “Keep it up.”

Taeyong blushes and says thank you, bowing to her direction as well.

Ten pats Taeyong’s back when they lined up once again. The older smiled, glad that he was finally getting along with another trainee in the show. As the A class settles on their spot to watch the B trainees’ turn in dancing, Taeyong tries to look for Jaehyun and spots him on the first row, not in the center but near it.

He hadn’t seen Jaehyun and his labelmate’s performance during the company evaluations, with Taeyong honestly zoning out multiple times during that day. 

The song starts once again, and Taeyong feels his mouth form a small ‘o’ the moment he sees the younger dance.

Jaehyun was _good_. He was actually way past good, in Taeyong’s opinion, and he wondered why the younger only got a B during the initial evaluations. 

Jaehyun was tall, no doubt about it. In a sense, it was supposed to be harder for him to control his movements since he had a lot more mass to move. However, and Taeyong honestly doesn’t know how he does it, Jaehyun dances with a mix of elegance and power which, combined with his larger frame, catches the eye of anyone watching. His moves were clean yet powerful, forceful but accurate. 

“Hyung, you know him?” Ten whispers on his side, and he realizes that he’s been staring at only one trainee.

“Oh,” Taeyong wills himself not to blush at being caught staring, and turns to reply. “I just knew him because I talked to him during the photoshoot and the evaluations.” Ten just nods in understanding and continues watching the trainees dancing in front.

The chorus ends and the trainers commend the B class trainees, also giving constructive comments to some trainees along the way. As the B trainees go back to their places, Taeyong catches Jaehyun’s eye, smiles, and gives him a thumbs up. Jaehyun, in response, just lights up and smiles even wider.

The rest of the levels finished their turn dancing until it was finally time for Yunho and Hyoyeon to say their final remarks for the session. The trainees were given a short break after filming, with the next session being a vocal training session with their mentors.

Taeyong was honestly so, so worried. He knows that he isn’t really the best singer, and the fact that the chorus was too high for him to sing and dance to didn’t help. The moment he heard the theme song they will perform when it was shown to them during the company evaluations, he had already been troubled on how he would be able to sing it properly. 

Their short break ends, and Taeyong went back to the pyramid room to see that the staff had already set up the piano and seats for their mentors to use. Even the mere instrument pressures Taeyong. Taeyeon and Kyuhyun both enter the room then, the latter carrying sheet music for the trainees to have.

They start with vocal warm ups at first, with Kyuhyun at the piano. The sound echoing in the hall would honestly make taeyong laugh had the situation not be as intimidating as this one. Unlike their dance session, this vocal training seems to have a more muted atmosphere, especially with Taeyeon and Kyuhyun as their trainers. 

“We’re gonna be honest with all of you,” Taeyeon starts, glancing at Kyuhyun for a moment. “We haven’t really seen that many amazing vocalists during the company evaluations. That’s why we’re going to be watching all of you closely today and for the next three days to see if we just misjudged last time or not.” 

Once again, they rehearsed the song multiple times until both trainers were satisfied. Everyone was, struggling, really. The notes were high, and alot of them really weren’t meant for those keys, which meant a lot of forced vocals and out of tune moments.

Just like their previous dance session, they were once again called again to sing the intro of the song until the chorus by their level. Of course, their level was called first.

It was… disastrous to say the least. A couple of them (Taeyong admits to being included), were really just trying to reach the notes at this point. Their harmonization was also shaky at best and the fact that they were also only just eight didn’t help, as it meant that their mistakes were much more noticeable.

“I expected more since you’re supposed to be the best of the best,” Kyuhyun tells them after they’re done. “But let’s see,” he ends ambiguously.

Taeyong really wasn’t comforted at the implication, self-doubts already forming in his mind.

“Don’t worry,” Taeyeon assures them, as if reading their minds. “We’ll focus on all of your vocals individually on the next few days when we start training you by class.”

The rest of the levels sing after them by turn, which just had the same results as theirs, save from some main vocal trainees who were individually picked out by their mentors to be doing well. At the end of it all, Taeyeon and Kyuhyun just seemed tired, probably not looking forward to the work that still needs to be done for them to improve.

The director yells ‘cut!’ for the morning, and they all line up by level to their cafeteria.

Taeyong honestly finds it unfair. Before they started the day, the Mnet staff had informed all of them that everything will be done by their level. Their cafeteria privileges, their time at the bathroom, and a lot more was determined by the level they were in. Trainees in the highest classes had the first dibs to pick what they wanted to eat at the cafeteria, which means that trainees on level F would just be left with the unwanted food. Permissions to go to the bathroom were also by level; the higher you are, the more times you can go to the bathroom. Taeyong finds it discriminatory and fucked up, to say the least.

Level A entered the cafeteria first as discussed, although Taeyong had to go to the bathroom first so he was put with the B trainees in line when he returned. As he goes to check for an available table, he feels someone touch his elbow.

“Hyung, sit with me?” Jaehyun shyly asks him.

“Huh,” Taeyong stares. “What about your labelmate?”

“It’s fine, Youngho hyung’s gonna table with Yuta and Hansol hyung with the rest of the Cs anyway,” he assures him. 

“I’m your last resort again aren’t I,” Taeyong teases him. 

“Hyung,” the younger whines, making Taeyong laugh. 

They relatively ate in comfortable silence, both too hungry to make conversation.

“Hey,” Taeyong starts, his plate already done. “You never did tell me how you and Youngho were close with Yuta and Hansol.”

“Well, it’s funny really,” Jaehyun replies, wiping his mouth with tissue. “Our companies were close to each other so we would often bump to each other at restaurants around the area. When we all first met, Youngho hyung and I were eating at this tteokbokki place when he saw Yuta hyung eating with Hansol hyung. Turns out they know each other from the international school they both went to here in Korea,” the younger animatedly tells him. “We all became friends somehow. The three of them are definitely closer though since their ages are close with each other.”

“How about you, hyung? Any trainee stories to tell?” Jaehyun leans back.

“Um,” Taeyong hesitantly starts. “You know Seulgi and Seungwan from last season?” he asks. 

“You know them?” Jaehyun’s eyes bug out. “Wait why am I even asking, you three are from the same company, of course you know them.”

Taeyong chuckles at the younger’s surprise. “Well the three of us were kind of a really close group when we were training, but you know, their schedules are really demanding after they debuted so…” he drags, unsure of how to end. 

“But they always make time to check on me though,” Taeyong smiles. “Though I really had no one to talk to physically since they left to debut.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun didn’t know what to say, which was obvious to the older. 

“You don’t have to think of something to comfort me,” Taeyong laughs. “I got used to it anyway. At least it kinda prepared me for being by myself in this show.”

“But,” the younger smiles softly at him. “Now you have me too, hyung,” Jaehyun tells him, his two dimples gracing his cheek.

Taeyong doesn’t know if he resembles a tomato at that point.

\- 2.5 -

Taeyong feels like he’s back to his early training days. He feels like he was back to being that sixteen year old Taeyong who didn’t know anything about performing, feeling inferior compared to the other trainees. He honestly doesn’t know how he’s gonna pull through the reevaluations, seeing as he absolutely feels like shit with his vocals.

Taeyeon and Kyuhyun had always zeroed in on him and Mark during the by level training sessions, being the two rappers in their class full of main and lead vocals. Taeyong honestly didn’t mind being criticized by well known vocalists since it’d help him in the long run, but he was just so apologetic to the other trainees in their level that he was holding him back. Sungwoon, though, acting as the pseudo-leader of their level since he was the oldest, tells him and Mark that it was fine and they all needed more practice anyway. 

On their last day of practice before the level reevaluations, Taeyong and Mark stay by the vocal training room to practice more. The younger leaves the practice room earlier than him, though, seeing as he can barely hold his yawns while singing that Taeyong sent him to their dorms. Mark just nods and agrees, also telling Taeyong that he needs to rest as well. 

For the last three days, Taeyong had actually gotten to know the younger trainee more, seeing as they were both struggling at the same thing. Still, Mark was definitely the closest with Donghyuck, the two practically being attached to the hip every time of the day. Taeyong finds them cute.

Perhaps that was the thing bothering Taeyong for the last few days as well. He hadn’t really gotten closer with anyone else on their level. Sure, he talked to them about practice stuff during training, but other than that, he hadn’t really talked to them about anything under the sun. Mark had Donghyuck, Sungwoon had Seongwu, but Taeyong had no one. (He thinks about Jaehyun and what the younger one said to him during that one lunch time, but Taeyong wasn’t exactly sure if that still applies since hadn’t been able to talk to him ever since that day.)

“Hey hyung,” he hears someone behind him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He turns to the door and sees Jaehyun, the younger boy also apparently about to use the training room. “What are you doing here still up at night?”

What kind of perfect timing.

“You know I could ask you the same, right?” Taeyong asks. “You got me,” Jaehyun just laughs.

Jaehyun settles by the piano, already arranging the sheet music to his preference. “Why are you still practicing, hyung, you’re already great.”

“Clearly, you haven’t heard me sing,” Taeyong smiles self-deprecatingly and slumps on the floor. “I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to remain in A after the reevaluations,” he sighs.

“Want me to help you, hyung?” Jaehyun asks after a moment of silence. “I’m-- I’m not that great of a singer but maybe I can help.” 

“Jaehyun, I don’t want to be a burden,” Taeyong shakes his head. “You should focus on your own practice instead of worrying about me. I’ll be fine even if I go down.”

“Actually,” Jaehyun chuckles, “I really just went down here to play the piano because everyone’s still practicing the choreo in our room and my ears are kinda tired of the EDM of the song already.”

“Come on, hyung, I’ll sing first if you want,” Jaehyun tells him when he doesn’t reply. Taeyong finally agrees with a nod, and Jaehyun starts playing the piano as an accompaniment to his voice.

Jaehyun was lying. He was absolutely great at singing. If you ask him, Taeyong would describe the younger’s voice as honey-like; smooth and warm to the ears. He actually doesn’t know how Jaehyun can make an EDM heavy song sound like a soft ballad as he sings it with the piano but he just does. As soon as the younger finishes, Taeyong’s hands automatically clap on their own, beaming at Jaehyun.

“Yah, you said you weren’t great at singing!” Taeyong pouts. “You’re a liar,” he laughingly accuses him.

“I’m really not!” Jaehyun tries to defend himself. “Hyung don’t change the subject, it's your turn now!”

Taeyong laughs but proceeds to comply. As he sings, he feels the younger look at him as he plays the piano, but Taeyong doesn’t look back, too shy to see his reaction. As he ends the song, he sees Jaehyun beaming at him. “You’re already doing great, hyung.”

“I’m honestly not,” Taeyong groans. “I think I improved with Taeyeon and Kyuhyun ssaem’s tips but it’s definitely not to the point of great. Still can’t reach those notes,” he tiredly says. 

“I’m a baritone, hyung, I think I know a thing or two about not reaching notes,” Jaehyun tells him. “But I can get around it with technique. Come here, hyung, I’ll show you.”

Taeyong goes to him like a puppy, dragging a chair to sit beside him by the piano. Taeyong appreciates how Jaehyun is being patient with teaching him, really. The younger has been all smiles at him throughout their practice, not minding when Taeyong would sometimes take a long time getting his tips. Jaehyun would probably be willing to help him until morning too, had it not been for him stifling a yawn. Taeyong calls for the both of them to sleep at that point in time.

Jaehyun walks Taeyong to the A dorms that night, despite them already passing his room. 

(Jaehyun really doesn’t tell Taeyong this, telling him a little lie that he passes by Taeyong’s room before he gets to his.)

“Hyung,” Jaehyun calls out as Taeyong is about to enter the room. “Let’s meet each other on A, okay?”

-

It’s been a day since the reevaluations and Taeyong feels his nerves multiply tenfold. Taeyong thinks he did pretty well for his individual performance video, but still isn’t sure if it was A class worthy. He definitely was able to use the tips Jaehyun gave him though, already mentally thanking the other trainee whatever happens.

Tensions rise as BoA enters the A class training room to deliver their new levels. All of them were seated on the floor, with a single chair and table set for her to use. The table had stamps and stamp pads as well, for BoA to use later on for their level cards. The set up was already intimidating on its own, but what made it even more nerve wracking was BoA’s announcement.

“I will only announce your levels once every trainee who leveled up arrives,” she announces as she looks at every single one of them.

Taeyong swears at the production team in his head. _Of course_ they would drag this out as long as possible. Mnet had always lived for drama, after all. There’s something fucked up with using and highlighting real people’s worries and anxieties for entertainment, but Taeyong reels in all his complaints for the show, reminding himself that he had signed up for this.

Sighing, he proceeds to look around the room to pass the time. For once, Mark and Donghyuck were quiet, obviously nervous at the results they’ll receive. Ten was nervously picking his shirt, eyes trained at the floor. Seongwu was hunched down, trying to make himself as small as possible despite his tall frame. Sungwoon was blankly staring at their practice room’s mirror. 

Taeyong’s observations were cut off when he sees BoA suddenly move her hand to her earpiece through the corner of his eyes. She absently nods in reply to whoever was speaking on the earpiece, and proceeds to address them.

“The trainees who levelled up to A are about to come up now,” she says as they all turn to the glass door to check the trainees who were about to enter the room.

Gasps filled the room when the first trainee they spotted was wearing a gray shirt. An F trainee. Taeyong feels his mouth drop his mouth in awe. What a vertical climb.

The trainee opens the door shyly, bowing multiple times at everyone in the room. Taeyong doesn’t even know the trainee, but he feels himself be proud of the other because his hard work had obviously paid off.

“Congratulations, Kim Taedong ssi,” BoA greets him. “You may take a seat for a moment since we’re still waiting for the others to come up.”

Sooner than later, other trainees finally began to arrive as well. Just like Kim Taedong, the trainees who went up from D and C were only one each. Taeyong recognizes the trainee from C as Huang Renjun, the chinese trainee who had amazed all of them during the company evaluations for his fluency in Korean. 

A flood of orange shirts then arrived at the room, with the B trainees levelling up to A. There were five trainees who went up and Taeyong tried to search for a familiar face but came up with none.

Taeyong swallows a lump in his throat that he hadn’t noticed was there when he didn’t spot a trace of Jaehyun from the B trainees. He was trying to think of a reason why the younger wouldn’t move to A when BoA interrupts his thoughts.

“Oh? Where’s the other trainee?” BoA asks every B class trainee who just arrived. “You’re supposed to be six trainees from B.”

“Oh, he just went to the bathroom before going up, daepyonim,” a pink haired trainee informed her.

Taeyong tries not to keep his hopes up and looks down at the floor. A few moments later, they finally hear footsteps rushing to the room.

As the door noisily slams shut, Taeyong looks up to check who the last trainee to enter was.

He finds himself seeing eye to eye with Jung Jaehyun, the latter already grinning at him excitedly.

\- 3 -

It turns out that Taeyong’s worries were unfounded, and he remains in level A along with the rest of the original A trainees. He was honestly so proud of them; the fact that all 8 of them were able to retain their levels was a testament to the three days they worked their asses off. Of course, he was happy for those who levelled up as well.

Taeyong honestly didn’t know why, but the past few days with the new A class felt different compared to his first three days. It was a good kind of different, he realized. Practices were definitely more fun now, since the pressure of maintaining their level was finally removed from their shoulders. They were also a lot louder now, since their numbers doubled and they were now closer to each other. Perhaps though, the main difference was that Jaehyun was now training with him.

The younger definitely didn’t kid around when he told Taeyong that he has him now. Jaehyun definitely stuck with him throughout their practices and even after, since he now occupied one of the two previously empty beds in the A dorm Taeyong was in.

Their practices went more smoothly this time around, with Kim Seongri, a previous B trainee, and Sungwoon leading their vocal practices. Ten and Taeyong were also elected as the ones to help them with their dance. All in all, their composition was pretty harmonious, although the upcoming center evaluations certainly loomed on them.

The next thing they know, they were already on the way to the mini stage set up for the center evaluations, without really knowing how they’re going to be picked. As always, they were seated by their levels, with the A trainees occupying the center seats.

The PD gestures for them to settle down, and a few moments later, two figures approach the stage.

Taeyong feels the corners of his mouth rise up as he recognizes them. 

“Good morning trainees!” Seulgi and Seungwan both said as they went up. Sounds of surprise and exclamation filled the room as they recognized the two idols about to emcee for the center evaluations.

“As you all know, this round of evaluations are important to everyone, especially for the A rank trainees,” Seungwan starts. “The center evaluations will determine who will be that one special trainee who’ll be the center of all 101 of you when you perform in M!Countdown.”

“That’s right, Seungwan,” Seulgi continues. “As you all know, I was the center from our season, and I can definitely say that it helped me debut today.”

Taeyong remembers the day the company had gotten wind that Seulgi was to be the center of their showcase performance in M!Countdown. Everyone was practically celebrating, and their CEO had even treated every staff and trainee for afternoon snacks that day.

“Just like last season, every trainee from A will be a candidate for center,” Seulgi tells them. “However, unlike last season, the A trainees would now have to do an impromptu performance using Nayana’s instrumental as your background music.”

Everyone in their A class glanced at each other after that, probably gauging each other’s skills and capabilities. 

“The A trainees will be given 30 minutes to come up with a routine to appeal to the other trainees to vote for you as their center,” Seungwan looks at the A trainees. Catching Taeyong’s eyes, she smiles. “Good luck.”

-

At the end, Donghyuck was chosen by the majority of the trainees to be the center. Taeyong was fine with it though, not really expecting that he’ll be chosen anyway. Taeyong thinks that Donghyuck deserves it too, the younger being one of the allrounders in the program despite his young age. He was also their energizer during practices and can practically get close with anyone.

Taeyong took the time when the cameras were done rolling to try and talk to his old friend. He sees that Seungwan was busy talking to one of their PDs, and decides to just approach Seulgi who was just standing and scrolling her phone. As he approaches her, he feels eyes boring on his back, and turns around to see Jaehyun watching him. Taeyong raises his eyebrows at him in question as Jaehyun shrugs, smiling as he gestures for Taeyong to continue on his way. 

“So,” Taeyong grins as he reaches Seulgi, “seems like I have to call you sunbaenim now, noona.” Seulgi immediately turns her body to him as she hears his voice, posing to hug him until she remembers that there were a hundred other eyes in the vicinity. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Taeyong, I’m still that same old noona who brought you tissues after you cried on your first training because you danced like a stick,” she settles on teasing him, folding her arms in front of her chest.

Taeyong winces at that, remembering his early training days where he just wanted to quit as he really didn’t feel himself improve for a long time. “That bad, huh?” 

“Oh you know it is,” Seulgi grins, but then her gaze softens at Taeyong. “But you improved, didn’t you? You stayed so late at the practice rooms that Seungwan and I practically had to make our trainee manager oppa drag you out the studio for you to stop and rest. You improved so well that even Youngjoon ssaem chose you as the best dancer out of our trainee pool.”

“Don’t flatter me noona, that’s you,” Taeyong laughs, but Seulgi still looks at him fondly. “I don't know what Youngjoon ssaem was thinking when he said that. I still did pretty average there at the center evaluation earlier, though,” he looks at his feet.

Seulgi shakes her head. “I know you, Taeyong. You’ve always been so hard on yourself that you never really realize how far you’ve already come,” Seulgi smiles. 

“You close yourself off to others because you think that you will never be good enough. But it’s time for you to be proud of your skills and the hard work you put in every single day in order to reach for your dreams. Look, even the public is taking an interest on you," she reminds him.

Taeyong feels warmth blossom in his chest as he immediately remembers why they declared each other as family in the first place, when Seulgi suddenly moves to leave. Before she walks away though, she smiles encouragingly at him, making him want to thank her (and Seungwan), for everything that they've done for him for the past few years. 

“You don’t need to thank me, Taeyong," she gets ahead of him. "You’re always going to be Seungwan and I’s best little brother. That’ll never change. We promised that we’ll always have your back, right?” Seulgi reminds him. 

“Besides,” her eyes flicker at something behind him, “it looks like we aren’t the only ones now, anyway.”

She teasingly grinned at him while she walked away. Taeyong was baffled at what Seulgi last said even after she had returned to Seungwan, who smiled widely and waved at him. It wasn’t until he felt a presence beside him that he got a hold of his bearings.

“You like her, hyung?” Jaehyun asks as he sidled up to him without a warning. Taeyong just stared at him questioningly until Jaehyun pointedly looked at Seulgi who was now discussing something with Seungwan. “Who, Seulgi noona?” Taeyong scoffed.

“Well,” Jaehyun teases, particularly dragging the ‘e’ as if to make a point, “You seem pretty happy and comfortable talking to each other earlier.” Taeyong honestly doesn’t know where the younger was going with all of this and just continued to look at him confusedly until he gets to the point.

“We practically spent years training together in the same old studio, Jaehyun,” he smiled, reminiscing. “Of course I’d be comforted by the fact that she still has my back even after she went up and I didn’t.” Taeyong’s smile was nostalgic, and Jaehyun looked like he was about to apologize for what he said when Taeyong chuckled at him. 

“What brought about that question, anyway? You’re looking for some gossip from me, aren’t you?” Taeyong teased.

A shade of pink dusted Jaehyun's ears at that, and Taeyong laughed at him as he tried to explain himself. 

“No– hyung, I–” Jaehyun looked adorable stuttering, Taeyong noted. “I was just curious if you ever thought about liking someone.” Taeyong stopped at that.

“What, as in dating?” Taeyong asked. “You know that our career path doesn’t exactly encourage that Jaehyun. Haven’t thought of it much, either,” he shrugs as he turns away.

“Oh,” Jaehyun purses his lips, his dimples peeking from his cheeks. Taeyong absolutely wanted to pinch them, but settled at only putting the thought on the back of his mind.

“Yeah, ‘oh’ yourself, bread boy,” Taeyong laughs. ["Hyung what the hell–" "Language, bread boy."] 

“Come on now,” the older drags Jaehyun by his wrist. “The staffs are about to tell us to line up to get in the van.”

As Taeyong leads the Jaehyun by his wrist, he fails to see the rapidly reddening face of the younger behind him.

\- 3.5 -

“Hey hyung,” Jaehyun approaches Taeyong just before they were about to go to the gymnasium for the picking of their group evaluation teams. “Do you know that the fans see us as a package now?”

“Huh?” Out of everything Jaehyun would say, Taeyong definitely didn’t expect that. Where did he get that now?

“It’s just that, you know you’re very recognizable with your white hair, right?” Jaehyun excitedly explains. Taeyong doesn’t even know where the younger was going with this but he still feels the corners of his mouth rise up from Jaehyun’s enthusiasm.

“The fans are saying that once you find Lee Taeyong and his white hair, you’ll automatically find Jung Jaehyun beside him,” Jaehyun grins. “Some of the supporters I have are even saying that they find me in the group pictures through you.”

“Wait, really?” Taeyong was somewhat amused. He definitely knows it was true, though. Ever since they were sorted to A, there was not a day that Jaehyun wasn’t by his side, or near him. It’s not that he was complaining, though, feeling fond of the younger trainee.

“Yeah, hyung! I’d show you their tweets and posts but you know that our phones aren’t with us,” Jaehyun pouts. Taeyong wants to coo at the cuteness. 

Taeyong thinks he knows what the contents will be anyway, since he knows that it’ll probably be screenshots of them together or fansite taken pictures when they were on the way to M!Countdown. For the past weeks, he actually started to gain a few fans after the first episode aired. He definitely felt his rise to popularity when he saw a fansite dedicated to him open. One of the first pictures of said fansite was him and Jaehyun together, chatting on the way to M!Countdown.

“I actually found out through Daniel hyung since apparently fans were saying the same thing about him and Seongwu hyung,” Jaehyun explains. Taeyong snorts at that, immediately believing the younger. “Okay, that’s true though, I always look for Daniel’s pink hair when looking for Seongwu,” he laughs.

“See?”

“Hyungs!” Mark calls them, interrupting their conversation. “Staff wants us to go inside now.”

As the filming starts, BoA explains to them that unlike last season where the A trainees were all separated because they were the ones with the privilege to choose their teammates, this time around, everyone will have the chance to pick their members. BoA will draw a trainee from a box full of their names, and the trainee picked will get to choose their team members, with no limitations regarding their level. As expected, the trainee who gets to choose first was Dongyuck, as an advantage for being their center. 

“Remember,” BoA emphasized. “The teammates you choose would be crucial since the group with the highest combined scores will not just gain 3000 points each, but also perform in M!Countdown. Choose wisely.”

“I hope I get to be in the same team as you,” Jaehyun excitedly whispers by his side as Donghyuck walks to the front.

“What, aren’t you tired of me yet?”

“Never,” Jaehyun smiles.

Donghyuck picks Mark (definitely for obvious reasons), Renjun, Park Jisung and Zhong Chenle from B, and Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno from C. 

Taeyong admires Donghyuck’s strategy in picking members. All of the people he picked had made headlines, one way or another. Mark and Renjun already had eyes trained on them since they were some of the youngest trainees to be in the A class. Park Jisung initially made rounds in the internet when his past child actor videos resurfaced, though he proved that he wasn’t just that when he had amazed everyone for his dance skills despite being the youngest trainee in the season. Zhong Chenle’s past had also been brought up in SNS when it was discovered that he was actually a prodigy in China who already sold albums and held concerts as a young child. Lee Jeno became viral after their performance in M!Countdown when the public said that he looked a lot like Lee Donghae. The public became fond of Na Jaemin, on the other hand, when it was revealed on the first episode that he had given up being a speed skater because he wanted to pursue performing more.

All in all, everyone in the team Donghyuck handpicked already had their own fans in tow, which meant that whatever group going against them would almost be guaranteed to lose. Taeyong is impressed with Donghyuck’s sharpness.

“Well, it seems like Donghyuck is out to win this group evaluations,” BoA smiles amused. “Please line up on the other side as I call the next trainee to choose.”

Everyone holds their breath as BoA picks up a piece of paper from the name box. Taeyong suddenly flashbacks to his comparison of Produce 101 to The Hunger Games once again. Though this time, the trainees all want to be picked. He can even hear Jaehyun mumbling beside him, murmuring his wish to get called.

BoA flips the paper to let them see the name she had picked. “Kim Doyoung, B,” she announces.

Taeyong remembers Kim Doyoung for his beautiful vocals from the company evaluations, though the trainers had particularly nitpicked on his dancing.

Doyoung reaches the front and BoA hands him the microphone. 

“The first trainee I choose is,” Doyoung quickly scans the room, until his eyes move to Taeyong’s direction. “NEO Entertainment trainee, Lee Taeyong.”

Taeyong was surprised at having been immediately called upstage. Everyone looks at him after Doyoung’s announcement, and he makes his way to the front with Jaehyun patting his back. He shakes Doyoung’s hand when he reaches him though, and then moves to his side as he picks the next person to join them.

Doyoung was quicker to choose this time around. “ZEN Entertainment trainee, Jung Jaehyun.”

Taeyong automatically smiles widely, and he barely prevents himself from shouting and cheering loudly. He settles for just clapping like a seal instead, keeping his eyes at the younger the entire time he makes his way up to them. Jaehyun was smiling the entire time he was walking up to them.

“I told you, hyung,” Jaehyun grins as he finally takes a place beside Taeyong. “We’re a package deal.”

-

Doyoung was able to grab TVXQ’s Mirotic from the pool of songs presented to them. In any other circumstances, Taeyong would actually be happy to perform one of his favorite songs. However, seeing as Yunho was one of their trainers, Taeyong couldn’t help but subtly wince at their future practice sessions. The pressure they would be facing would definitely be twice heavier. 

It didn’t help that their team, alongside Donghyuck’s group and the one Hwang Minhyun picked, were already deemed to be strong contenders by the other trainees. And currently, another problem was presenting itself to Taeyong in the form of their group deciding the leader and center-- both of which his group mates wanted him to be. 

Taeyong feels a headache brewing.

“Doyoung,” he turns to the younger. “Why don’t you be the leader? After all, you’re the one who formed the team,” Taeyong tries to convince him.

“And hyung,” he turns to Hansol. “Why don’t you be the center? Since you said that you already performed this song anyway?”

“Look at Taeyong hyung being all leaderlike and assigning us our roles,” Doyoung teases him with a shit-eating grin. Taeyong tries hard not to roll his eyes. For the relatively short time that he had known the younger, it sure feels like he was suddenly entrusted with a younger brother whose ultimate goal was to annoy him at all times.

Taeyong pretends not to hear Doyoung. “Or maybe Jaehyunie?” He turns to the trainee by his side. “You’re an allrounder anyway.” Jaehyun startles beside him, clearly surprised at being singled out, and then furiously shakes his head. 

“Taeyong hyung,” Doyoung calls his attention. “Why are you so adamant on not taking the positions anyway?” He seriously asks, genuinely curious. “It’s a good opportunity to get known to the public.”

Taeyong sighs, leaning back. “I know it’s a good opportunity but,” he hesitates. “It shouldn’t be an opportunity just for me. I personally feel that you guys should have that opportunity too since I’ve already kinda gotten a little bit of that when I got sorted to A.” Everyone becomes quiet at that, and Taeyong looks at every single one of them until his eyes finally rest on Jaehyun. The younger was smiling, something akin to a mix of proudness and encouragement in his eyes. 

“Fine, fine,” Taeyong finally gives in, which earns a cheer from their little group. Taeyong even cracks a smile at their maknae Shotaro’s little cheer. “No, wait, I’m not agreeing to both,” he backtracks. “I’ll take the leader position, only that. The center goes to someone else.”

The group agrees to the compromise he proposes, and they finally pick Hansol as their center, reasoning out that the older had already performed the song before. Immediately afterwards, the group started to divy up the line distribution for the song. The music sheet Mnet had given them already had specific roles written on it, and all they had to do was assign them to one another. Predictably, Doyoung gets the main vocal, seeing as he was the only one out of all of them who would be able to reach all the ad libbed high notes at the last chorus of the song. The other vocal parts were also easily assigned, with Jaehyun being the subvocal 1, Yuta as the subvocal 2, and Hansol as subvocal 3. The rap lines were then left to Taeyong and Shotaro, with the former for rapper 1 and the latter for rapper 2. 

All in all, Taeyong thinks that their team’s composition was flawless, and he silently thanks Doyoung’s brain for coming up with that kind of combination.

Their team was definitely smooth sailing in terms of practice and distribution of tasks. Taeyong and Hansol were memorizing and polishing up the choreography and blockings on one corner, to be taught to the others afterwards. Doyoung and Yuta, on the other hand, were helping Shotaro on his Korean, with Yuta one moment away from adopting the younger Japanese under his wing. (Taeyong feels soft at that.) Jaehyun on the other hand was floating between the two groups, seeing as he was needed on both-- although he particularly stays by the dance group longer. (Yuta notices this, and sends teasing smiles to Jaehyun whenever he excuses himself from their little vocal team.)

Practice more or less goes by quickly for the next few days, and it was finally time for them to present the initial routine they’ve practiced to the trainers. Their morning schedule had indicated that they would be observed for their dance first, and their group was already nervous at the thought of dancing to Mirotic with Yunho present.

Taeyong sees the group they’ll be competing against worried as well as they make their way inside the practice room.

Yunho was already there. Taeyong feels his heart quicken.

Unlike the previous times the trainer met them, Yunho wastes no time with pleasantries this time around, immediately asking the other team to go first in their performance and Taeyong’s team to go second.

Taeyong tries not to wince at the other group’s initial performance as some of their members literally just stumble their way through the dance. His eyes immediately check Yunho’s reaction, and sees their trainer’s expression go darker as the dance goes on.

Yunho was a blunt critic. That’s all Taeyong can say. He was already initially very observant on the details and moves of the trainees he was mentoring, but added to the fact that what he’s evaluating now is a song he had already danced to probably a million times, Yunho’s comments were sharper than what the trainees were used to from him. Taeyong feels pity for the members of the other team with the comments Yunho was giving them, but finds himself actually agreeing since what the trainer was saying were not unfounded.

Their team finally gets called to dance, and Taeyong can feel the nervous energy radiating on all of them, especially after they’ve all heard how the other team got scolded for their dance.

Taeyong takes a look at the wall mirror of their practice room and checks their group’s blocking, gesturing for some of the members to move a bit for their positions to be more cohesive. As the music starts, Taeyong feels relieved as he sees their group execute the moves accurately, even more so when he at least sees Yunho nodding his head to their group’s dancing. The song ends, and the group bows immediately when Yunho sends them a thumbs up.

“Taeyong, you’re the leader?” Yunho asks. “You did a great job leading.”

Taeyong beams at that, bowing his thanks once again as his other groupmates cheer as well.

“I have one problem though,” their trainer says, with their group tensing up once again. “Hansol, I can’t see you properly even if you’re the center. You dance really well but your expressions lack something.”

“You shouldn’t think of performing this song with just clean dance moves. Your expressions are equally as important to convey the mood and meaning of the song to your audience, and frankly, I only see both of those right now with Taeyong. Jaehyun too,” he looks at them, pointing at the people he mentioned with the pen he was holding.

“If Hansol doesn’t improve, it might do your group well if you change your center,” he declares. “For all the faults the other had with the dance, their center at least had grasped the mood of the song down to a T.”

They end the session with that, but they weren’t even given the time to discuss what happened since they’re immediately thrust to a joint vocal and rap session with Kyuhyun and Cheetah.

Taeyong already feels the group’s down atmosphere ever since the dance sessions which prompts him to go and whisper a small _you did great_ to each of them before they enter the vocal practice room. Jaehyun catches his hand as he was ruffling the younger’s hair, and proceeds to whisper as well. _“You did great too, hyung.”_

Their vocal and rap performance goes horrible.

Taeyong and Yuta go out of tune, Jaehyun’s voice cracks, and Shotaro fumbles on his rap. It was disastrous.

“I think you don’t need me to tell you just how badly that went,” Kyuhyun says, disappointment marring his face.

“The only one applaudable here is Doyoung. Even Hansol who didn’t make a mistake is only on the average.”

Kyuhyun gives them a list of other improvements to make. Taeyong feels like a shit leader.

“Taeyong,” Cheetah focuses on him. “I’m not sure if you intended your rap to be so tense earlier but there are only certain songs where being tense works. And this song is not it.”

Taeyong nods stiffly in understanding, acknowledging and filing the rap trainer’s comments in his mind.

“See,” Cheetah chuckles. “Even right now you’re still so tense and it’s not good for the song. I don’t know where that swag and smoothness you showed during the company evaluations are but I want them back.”

Looking at all of them, Kyuhyun gives his final words to the group. “You’re a group of mostly great dancers but you shouldn’t sacrifice the vocal quality of the song just for the performance aspect. Both complete the other, and if the other one is poorly done or executed, it’s gonna drag the other one down as well,” he lectures them.

The group’s mood turns somber after both training sessions, and they quickly huddle into a circle to discuss the comments they’ve received from both practices

“So,” Taeyong hesitantly starts. “I’m gonna start by saying I’m sorry for not leading you all well for the past two days,” he bows his head, not wanting to look at any of his group mates. “Where do we start now though?”

All of them stay silent, all at a loss, until Hansol speaks.

“We start by removing me as our group’s center,” Hansol calmly suggests, and everyone turns to him in surprise. “I won’t jeopardize the performance by forcing myself to stay in the position just because it’s gonna benefit me.”

They grow silent at that. “Who do we replace Hansol hyung with, then? Jaehyun? He and Taeyong were praised earlier.” Yuta asks.

They all turn to Jaehyun, awaiting his decision. 

“No.” Jaehyun firmly says. “We chose Hansol hyung for a reason. He needs our faith and trust in him now more than ever. We’re only just two days in with our practices. We can still improve.”

“And hyung,” he turns to Taeyong. “Don’t blame yourself with everything that happened. It’s a group battle-- a group effort. It’s not just one man’s burden to carry if ever we fail. We voted you as our leader because we trust that you’ll lead us all up, not because we want you to take the fall for all of us when something goes wrong.” He looks at Taeyong the whole time, wanting him to make him understand.

They hold their gaze for a moment until Taeyong nods. “Jaehyun’s right. Hansol hyung, no replacing of centers. We’ll just work on our expressions and the way we’ll convey the mood. All of us,” he looks at every single one of them. 

“Taro’s already got the dancing down anyway, so Yuta and Doyoung, continue on helping him with Korean. Jaehyun, help Hansol hyung with the expressions and other subtle details. I’ll just go back and forth between the two teams since I’ll be needed to help both Taro on his rap and Hansol hyung on his expressions,” he instructs everyone on their tasks for the rest of the day.

“Aye aye, captain!” Yuta and Doyoung simultaneously say, which causes all of them to burst in laughter. _At least the tension’s gone._

Taeyong lets the rest of them leave first to the cafeteria for lunch, choosing to hang back while he watches the rest of his members regain their laughter and energy for the day. Hansol and Yuta (the twins, as the team calls them), were both seemingly trying to tease and annoy Doyoung. Said aggravated party was indignantly huffing before the two, jokingly stomping and mock punching them. Shotaro, their sweet baby, was just laughing as always, with Yuta translating some of the bickering to the former, making him laugh even harder when he understands the jokes more.

Taeyong smiles. He could get used to this.

He feels Jaehyun sitting beside him, apparently choosing to hang back with him as well when he sees Taeyong staying by the practice room. They let the comfortable silence envelope them for a moment, until Taeyong breaks it.

“Jaehyun,” he calls to the younger who was now leaning back with his eyes closed.

“Hm, hyung?” Jaehyun shifts his body to Taeyong, giving him an easy smile. Taeyong does the same, and taking a slow, deep breath, he says, 

“Thank you.”

Taeyong lets the words linger in the air, wanting Jaehyun to hear what the sentence _really_ meant. It wasn’t just a simple thank you for what happened today. It was a thank you for approaching him in the first place; a thank you for looking out for him; a thank you for trusting him. A thank you for everything.

Jaehyun just looks at his eyes, seemingly understanding what he was trying to convey, and squeezes his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- produce 101 training center in [paju](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.befreetour.com%2Fen%2Fdetail%2F7343-produce-101-dorm-visit-tour&psig=AOvVaw1TuM0jzXPGj3RcrTqpup4r&ust=1610761914581000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAMQjB1qFwoTCNj06ZTqnO4CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD)  
> \- dorm [room](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FW-pPQouX4Ww%2Fhqdefault.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DW-pPQouX4Ww&tbnid=kL9RBIh7PSF14M&vet=12ahUKEwik5fC84pzuAhVM3pQKHUp6CaUQMygAegUIARCSAQ..i&docid=an_bxf-S-sa17M&w=480&h=360&q=produce%20101%20dorms&ved=2ahUKEwik5fC84pzuAhVM3pQKHUp6CaUQMygAegUIARCSAQ)  
> \- center battle [sample](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PS8DbgHLvI)  
> \- i just realized that i never wrote the part where they filmed the show's theme song (it aint important to the flow anyway), but just imagine haechan as the 101's center, with jaehyun and taeyong on his sides :D  
> \- the lineup for mirotic is more or less the same with their smrookies mirotic stage, just without mark (because i put him with the dreamies), and johnny, (because i didn't want the group to be very 127 heavy). i added shotaro instead bc,,, i wanted to?
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading this update! leave a comment down below if you have thoughts about this chapter ^^

**Author's Note:**

> for visuals:  
> \- [first set sample](https://www.pinterest.ph/HoNeyHaZeLAngel/produce-101-season-2/) (uniform photoshoot)  
> \- [second set sample](https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/309059593168505904/) (sports photoshoot)  
> \- [third set sample](https://pm1.narvii.com/6465/102ae8324504a020538067c275ac61d2fd8cf300_hq.jpg) (garden photoshoot)  
> \- when writing about jaehyun in that garden scene, i imagined his look to be the one from his poetic beauty shoot :)  
> \- [pyramid room](https://images.app.goo.gl/Cx5eyKLA6uifFgh38)  
> \- what taeyong [wore](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BasicFragrantAnglerfish-mobile.mp4) during the company evaluations, just with his t7s white hair :D
> 
> this was honestly supposed to be a submission for the jaeyong ficfest but i wasn't able to finish on time due to finals, so now im just gonna post it here late >< (thank you to the jyff admins for being patient w me tho) 
> 
> this is my first nct fic ever so leave your thoughts down below! ^^
> 
> [dedicated to a (if u ever read dis), who was the one to drag me in this jaeyong hole *insert awkward finger guns*]


End file.
